The Thanksgiving Leader — Practicing Appreciation With Purpose

Gratitude is a culture we choose to create—every day, intentionally, visibly.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we actively pause and reflect on the good around us. But in leadership, gratitude is more than a seasonal greeting or a once-a-year statement from a podium. Gratitude is culture work. It’s how we protect morale, retain great people, and honor the humanity inside the hard work we ask of them.

Perhaps one of the most unexpected lessons I’ve learned as a nurse leader is this: Gratitude doesn’t always sound like “thank you.” Sometimes gratitude sounds like clarity.

Recently, during a huddle, I explained that I’m very strict about the expectations that protect patient safety and ensure reliable attendance (because people depend on us to leave on time and meet their own obligations). Other policies like personal appearance choices are still noticed, of course, but unless something is truly out of line, we may not be consistently policing those as tightly right now. That said, expectations can shift, and if we ever need to tighten those areas, I’ll communicate the changes clearly.

I said to them:

“People need to know the expectations. If we don’t communicate them, bullies run the world.”

And I meant it.

Clear communication is gratitude in disguise.

When leaders tell people what matters, what’s allowed, and what will be held accountable, we aren’t just creating order—we’re creating peace. We are protecting the people who carry the team, and we are setting boundaries for the ones who don’t.

Think about the debate over unlimited PTO. It sounds generous. It sounds progressive. But in practice, it often becomes the opposite of gratitude:

• Great employees—the dependable ones—take less time off because they feel guilty.

• Unreliable employees—the ones who take advantage—take more time off because they feel entitled.

And because nothing is communicated clearly, resentment grows quietly (in all the wrong corners).

That’s what clarity prevents.

Clarity is gratitude because it protects the people you value. But more than that—clarity reveals what we value in those people. Clear expectations and timely accountability don’t just keep order; they shine a light on the behaviors we want more of. They tell the team, “This is who we are. This is what we stand for. This is what healthy looks like here.”

Clarity becomes a form of thanksgiving all on its own.

Because every time a leader honors the reliable, the responsible, the steady—the ones who show up, who work hard, who stay kind—that is gratitude. Even if they never hear the words “thank you” that day, they sure feel it in the way you protect the standards they uphold.

When a leader corrects the behavior that erodes peace, that correction is not punishment—it is appreciation for the people who keep the culture healthy. It is a quiet, powerful, “YES—THAT. Please give us more of that. We see those of you who protect our mission and our team. THANK YOU.”

Clear communication says:

We see you.

We value you.

We will protect what you bring to this place.

And we will not allow harmful behavior to overshadow your contribution.

That is gratitude in leadership form—not sentimental, not seasonal, but structural.

Gratitude expressed as consistency. Gratitude expressed as boundaries. Gratitude expressed as fairness.

Every time we clarify expectations, every time we hold someone accountable quickly and kindly, we are saying a very real “thank you” to the people who do things right—and a very clear “not here, not like this” to the behaviors that undermine them.

It’s the same with small things, like snacks in the break room. If we don’t clearly state expectations around shared resources:

• Some people will quietly go hungry because they “don’t want to take from the team.”

• Others will clean out the snacks entirely without hesitation.

Again, clarity prevents resentment. Clarity preserves culture.

Clarity is kindness.

Gratitude isn’t just an emotion we feel toward our teams—it’s a structure we build around them.

Gratitude says:

“Your time matters, your effort matters, and you matter.”

So we create policies with heart.

We hold people accountable with dignity.

We protect the good and confront the harmful.

We name what is fair and what is not.

We tell the truth early, often, and kindly.

This is the gift of leadership.

This is the practice of Thanksgiving all year long.

And yet—there is something special about the days surrounding Thanksgiving. Something healing about pausing, even briefly, and pointing directly at the good we see. Naming it. Honoring it. Calling it out in front of others and saying, “This is who we are becoming.”

Culture doesn’t heal itself.

Teams don’t magically feel appreciated.

No one wakes up and feels valued just because it’s November.

But when leaders practice the habit of gratitude—through clarity, kindness, appreciation, boundaries, communication, fairness, and courage—people flourish.

This week, take the extra minute.

Send the note.

Speak the praise.

Clarify the expectation.

Protect the good people.

Address the harmful behavior.

And stop—just for a moment—to call attention to the beauty in your people.

Thanksgiving happens once a year.

But a culture of thanksgiving?

That’s built one clear, grateful, intentional conversation at a time.

🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7HdPh8qJmKq6rPzAXZjJqd?si=lz_prD-CQf-wZGMasSDAOw