The Flight I Missed and the Freedom I Still Had

Most of us have had some version of the trip that did not go according to plan.

Mine happened after my flight in Sacramento was delayed, leading to a missed connecting flight in Phoenix. That was frustrating enough. Then came the rental car problem in Phoenix. The vehicle I was given had previously been damaged underneath where I could not see it when I picked it up. The damage was significant enough that I had to return it to the rental car pickup and get a new vehicle, which meant more lost time, more inconvenience, and more reasons to be irritated.

None of that was in the plan. But the trip was not ruined. It was simply different.

Because of the missed flight, I ended up staying over and spending time with my brother, his family, and their new baby. What looked, at first, like a travel problem became a gift I would not have planned, but really needed with them. That does not make the frustration of delay and changed plans enjoyable. It does not mean every inconvenience is secretly wonderful. Some things are just frustrating.

As leaders, we need to remember that freedom is not the ability to control every circumstance. It is the ability to choose your response when circumstances do not go as planned.

That is an important distinction to remember.

Every July 4, the United States celebrates our freedom as a nation. It is worth remembering the hard decisions, the courage, and the sacrifice that made freedom possible. But Independence Day also raises a deeper human question: why do so many people who live in a free country still feel trapped?

Because they are trapped by fear, resentment, blame, bad habits. They are trapped by the belief that life cannot improve until someone else changes first.

Those prisons are harder to see because they usually do not have visible bars. Mental oppression is more damaging to people over the long run than physical oppression.

In leadership, one of the easiest ways to give away our freedom is to obsess over what we cannot control. Leaders give up their personal agency by being consumed with how they cannot control the economy, the board, their boss, their team, fluctuations in the market, the past, the decision someone else made, and so much more. Some of those things are real problems. I am not interested in pretending otherwise.

Denial is not leadership. But neither is being passive.

Responsibility does not mean everything is your fault, but how you respond is always yours to choose. Responsibility means you are willing to ask, “What is mine to do next?”

That question is powerful because it gives freedom back to the person asking it.

I could not control whether I missed my flight. I could not make the rental car problem disappear. I could not recover the exact schedule I had lost. But I could choose the next decision. I could choose my attitude. I could choose not to let disappointment consume the rest of the trip. I could choose to notice the unexpected gift sitting inside the inconvenience.

The same principle applies to leadership. You may not be able to change the whole culture overnight, but you can change how you show up inside it. You may not be able to erase a mistake, but you can choose the next right step. You may not be able to control what happened to you, but you can refuse to let it define you.

Freedom is often misunderstood as doing whatever we want, but no one has absolute freedom. We all have to function in a world that is shared, and people who truly value freedom for themselves seek to respect and protect that for others as well.

The freest people I know are rarely the most impulsive. They are usually the most disciplined, the most honest, and the most responsible. They have learned that freedom is not found in escaping responsibility. It is often found by accepting it.

Freedom is deeper than convenience, autonomy, or getting our own way. It is freedom from shame, resentment, fear, and the tyranny of self. And it is freedom for something better: love, service, wisdom, courage, faithfulness, happiness, and growth.

The next time your plans fall apart, pause before giving the disappointment more authority than it deserves.

You may not be able to recover the schedule. You may not be able to undo the delay. You may not be able to control the people, the timing, the economy, the organization, or the past.

But you can always choose the next right thing. That choice may feel small in the moment, but small choices are often where freedom begins again.

Sometimes the opportunity is not hidden because it is absent, but because frustration is blocking our view.

🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TbH5fWyrffuoULuDH0u8C?si=07zBKfw7TJehknwt9DHPPg

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