Rhino Skin: Resilience in a Culture of Offense

Some people say we need more “safe spaces” in the workplace. Others say we need thicker skin. I believe what we actually need is resilience.

Resilience is the foundation of anything worth building—whether it’s a business, a marriage, a team, or a life. It’s what allows us to face discomfort without falling apart, grow through setbacks, and stand firm when the truth is unpopular.

But in today’s workplace, something has shifted. More and more professionals seem paralyzed by offense. They are not just hurt by mistreatment—those issues should always be taken seriously and dealt with immediately—but they are weakened by disagreement. Minor conflicts become HR cases. Reasonable expectations around performance or accountability are labeled “toxic.” Leaders are silenced, and toxic behavior spreads unchecked.

So, what happened?

The workplace used to be a place where character was tested and forged. Now, in too many cases, it’s a place where character is avoided altogether. And I’m not advocating harshness or coldness. I’m talking about being honest, fair, and consistent. Traits that used to define good leadership are now treated like liabilities. That needs to change.

The Value, and Cost, of Free Speech

In America, freedom of speech was once considered sacred. It wasn’t just a right—it was a responsibility. You could speak your mind, but you also had to accept the consequences of doing so, as well as tolerating others who spoke theirs.

Today, that balance is slipping. Too many people demand freedom of speech for themselves but not for others. They want to be called what they prefer, treated how they wish, and protected from discomfort, but are unwilling to extend that same freedom to others with different views.

Let me be clear: Everyone has the right to ask to be referred to a certain way. But no one has the right to demand how others speak. And if someone doesn’t comply? That may be offensive, but it isn’t illegal. It’s freedom. It’s messy, imperfect, and essential.

Civility Still Matters

Of course, there’s a difference between free speech and foul speech. Civility is still a virtue. There’s nothing admirable about being intentionally rude, sarcastic, or combative while claiming you’re just “being honest” or “telling it like it is.” That’s not courage—it’s corrosive character hiding behind the veil of virtue.

Telling the truth doesn’t mean becoming a wrecking ball.

We can tell the truth in a way that’s kind but direct, and it may still cause offense because of the content itself. That’s often the cost of honesty and accountability. But we can also deliver the truth so obnoxiously or abrasively that the message gets lost entirely. That’s not strength—it’s just bad character and poor communication.

We don’t need more jerks. We need more people with rhino skin and soft hearts—people who can speak clearly, stand firmly, and still act with compassion and class.

A Tragic Reminder

Last night, I received a text from a family member asking me to pray for the family of someone named Charlie Kirk. I didn’t know who he was. I don’t follow much news and don’t spend time on social media, but I looked him up.

He had just been shot while speaking on a college campus—at a free speech event. I didn’t know his politics, and honestly, I still don’t. But what stopped me cold was learning that people were cheering the news of his shooting online. Requests for prayer for his family were met with mockery and hate. That’s not political polarization. That’s moral decay.

He was a human being. A husband. A father. And now his children will grow up without their dad—because someone didn’t like what he said. That’s not freedom. That’s anarchy. That’s militant hate disguised as activism.

And here’s the deeper truth: Monsters don’t come in a particular color, gender, or political tribe—they come in the form of corrupted character.

The person who pulled the trigger was a monster. But so was every person who celebrated it. That’s not strength. That’s sickness.

What Can Leaders Do?

If you’re a leader, don’t let the fear of offense keep you from doing what’s right. Speak with care—but also with courage. Be civil—but never spineless. Raise the bar—but don’t lower your standards.

We need strong leaders who can say hard things, hold people accountable, and protect those who do the right thing—not pander to those who scream the loudest.

In a fragile culture, be the one with rhino skin and a steady hand. Because resilience isn’t just a necessity for personal emotional health—it’s a form of cultural leadership.

PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS

Here are a few questions to ask yourself this week:

• Am I avoiding necessary conversations because I fear being misunderstood?

• Do I know the difference between tactful truth-telling and unnecessary offense?

• Am I modeling resilience to my team, family, and community?

• When I’m offended, do I pause to reflect—or react to control and retaliate?

• How can I hold space for diverse opinions without compromising my own values?

Resilience in a Culture of Offense is not just a personality trait—it’s a leadership discipline. And now more than ever, it’s time to strengthen that muscle.

🎧 Listen Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7zvV65QZoqWKGuvfuCxDzk?si=ssSqL0iNSdCjJnjCJBkE4A