Coaching vs Correction: Why One Builds People and the Other Breaks Them
- Michael Troxell
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Some years ago, I worked at a firm that invested heavily in its sales team. They even hired an in-house “sales coach,” a man whose entire job was to help us improve our conversations, sharpen our skills, and grow our numbers.
At least, that was the job description.
What he actually did was something very different.
Every week, each team member had a scheduled call or in-person meeting with him. And every week, without fail, he would hunt—actively hunt—for something to criticize. It didn’t matter if you had a great month, hit your goals, or landed a major account. His eyes went straight past every win, every improvement, every sign of progress.
He was there to correct you. And that was the only thing he knew how to do. It seemed he felt bigger by making others feel smaller.
I watched him crush talented people. One colleague used to dread his meetings to the point of losing sleep the night before. I felt it myself. He was one of the reasons I ultimately left that firm. Not because I couldn’t handle feedback. Not because I didn’t want to grow. But because the environment was built on the belief that beating people down was the same thing as building people up.
It isn’t. That is toxic culture, and it is unhealthy for everyone.
Correction is about the past. Coaching is about the future... it builds people.
Correction points backward.
Coaching points forward.
Correction looks for what you did wrong.
Coaching looks for what you can become.
Correction narrows your world to mistakes.
Coaching expands your world to possibilities.
A coach isn’t someone who waits for you to fail and then springs out of the shadows to tell you how you messed up. A coach is someone who sits beside you, sees the best in you, and helps you move toward it with clarity and confidence.
Coaching builds people. It is about building your future. About helping you discover who or what you want to become or achieve.
A coach should help you:
See your potential
Clarify your vision
Strengthen your skills
Believe in your future
Take ownership of your growth
Build confidence, not collapse under shame
That toxic “sales coach” thought his job was to catch errors. What he didn’t understand is that people don’t grow from being hunted. They grow from being believed in.
Coaching is not soft. Coaching is strong.
Let’s make something clear.
A real coach is not your buddy. Their job is not to tell you how amazing you are every moment of the day.
A real coach must have the courage to confront what matters.
If you can’t confront someone, you can’t coach them.
But confrontation isn’t aggression.
And correction isn’t coaching.
Healthy confrontation sounds like:
“I believe in your potential, and that’s why we need to talk about this.”
or
“Here’s where I see you getting stuck, and here’s the path forward.”
Unhealthy confrontation sounds like:
“You messed up again.”
“You’re just not getting it.”
“Here’s what’s wrong with you.”
People don’t fear the truth.
They fear being diminished by the person delivering it.
What people want from a coach
Most professionals don’t wake up wishing for someone to tell them what went wrong. They want someone who can help them:
Grow without shame
Stretch without breaking
Aim higher without being belittled
Develop courage, not fear
Build confidence, not insecurity
Learn from their mistakes, not be berated for them
People want a coach who can tell them the truth…
but in a way that builds their future, not burdens it.
So ask yourself: “Are you correcting people… or coaching them?”
Because the difference determines whether your culture becomes:
A place people avoid
or
A place people grow.
Practical Ways to Coach Instead of Correct
Lead with belief first. Start with what’s working. Celebrate progress before addressing problems.
Point toward the future. Ask questions like: “Where do you want this to go?” or “What outcome would feel successful to you?”
Address behavior without attacking identity. “This approach isn’t working” is very different from “You’re not good at this.”
Use challenge as fuel, not punishment. Push people forward, not down.
Create a rhythm of encouragement. Coaching should energize the person, not exhaust them.
But here is something I’ve noticed over the years, and Melanie and I go back and forth on this often. In healthcare, the word coaching has been hijacked. Somewhere along the way, hospitals and healthcare systems started using the term to describe disciplinary conversations. When a nurse gets “coached,” it usually means they’re being corrected, written up, or formally warned. It is backward-looking, punitive, and almost always tied to mistakes from the past.
Leaders started calling it “coaching” because it sounded nicer. It softened the blow. It was supposed to make a hard conversation feel more positive. But in reality, it quietly damaged the meaning of coaching altogether.
When “coaching” becomes a code word for discipline, people begin to fear it. They brace for impact the moment they hear the phrase:
“We just need to have a quick coaching conversation.”
And the harm doesn’t stop there.
When organizations or individuals redefine coaching as correction, it spills over into how people view professional coaches. The real ones. The ones whose job is to build your future, not bury you in your past.
If someone’s only experience with coaching is being written up or scolded, why would they ever seek out a coach voluntarily? Why would they invest time, trust, or money into something they’ve been trained to fear?
No one wants to pay for an experience that feels like punishment.
Real coaching is not punishment.
It is not corrective paperwork wrapped in friendly language.
It is not a meeting where someone tells you everything you did wrong last Tuesday.
Coaching is forward-looking. Hope-building. Future-shaping.
It gives you room to grow, not reasons to shrink.
If you want a team that is resilient, confident, creative, and committed, you must give them leaders who coach, not critics who correct.
And if you want people to rise, remind them not only of what must improve, but of who they’re becoming.
Anyone can point out a flaw.
A real leader helps people find their future.
🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5anGFF7x6jsZJtHf2zOaey?si=2VebFkKjTvGbX6rAJHu_uQ