“No, sir!” I said firmly, popping his diapered bottom as he reached for the doors.
My son was seven months old and had just discovered the kitchen cabinets.
He paused, surprised, then tried again. Another pop. Another firm “No.”
But he was determined. He smiled mischievously and stretched his fingers toward the handle.
I watched, letting him test his boundaries. As soon as the cabinet doors creaked open, I popped his puffy, plastic-encased bottom again and repeated, “No, Sir!”
I picked him up and moved him to the other end of the kitchen, seeking to distract him. Still undeterred, he dropped to his belly and army-crawled back toward his goal. The only way I finally won this battle of wills was by scooping him up and placing him in his crib for a nap. That was the last time we played that particular game, but he learned, beginning that day, to respect boundaries.
Leadership is About Consistency
One of the biggest causes of stress in the workplace is uncertainty. Teams thrive when expectations are clear, communication is consistent, and accountability is predictable. Leaders who enforce boundaries fairly and consistently create an environment where people feel secure, valued, and motivated.
You’ve probably seen the opposite in action.
A five-year-old in the grocery store grabs a piece of fruit. His mother, distracted by her phone, gently takes it from his hand. “No, Johnny, that’s not yours.”
Two steps later, he grabs another piece of fruit. “No, Johnny, don’t touch.”
Then he does it again. This time, she grabs his wrist. “Don’t embarrass me!” she hisses.
The child begins to wail, twisting out of her grasp. The mother, now aware of onlookers, snaps. She yanks him into her arms and starts beating his legs, screaming at him to shut up and stop embarrassing her.
This isn’t a debate about spanking. This is about consistency.
When discipline is unpredictable, when rules are enforced sporadically or based on a leader’s mood, people don’t learn accountability. They learn anxiety.
Unpredictable Leadership Creates a Toxic Culture
Have you ever had an unpredictable boss? One day, they walk by a mistake and say nothing. The next day, the same mistake leads to a public scolding. Team members become seismographs, constantly reading their leader’s emotional state to avoid disaster. It’s impossible to succeed in an environment like that.
Leaders don’t need to be stern or unbending, but they do need to be consistent, in communication, in discipline, and in expectations.
Practical Steps for Building a Culture of Accountability
Inspect What You Expect. If you want change, you have to actively observe and address behaviors early, often, and fairly.
Communicate Clearly and Frequently. Your team should never be in the dark. Use daily huddles, check-ins, and consistent feedback.
Set the Standard and Stick to It. Policies should apply to everyone, no favoritism, no exceptions based on mood.
Encourage Early, Soft Corrections. I’m known for passing out sticky notes with gentle reminders before issues become serious. It’s a way to correct behavior before resorting to formal discipline.
Document Everything. Not just for HR compliance, but to show growth, to prove when a struggling team member improves, or when a problematic one needs to go.
Make It Safe to Speak Up. My teams know it’s always better to tell on yourself. If you make a mistake, come to me early. The sooner we address it, the easier it is to fix.
Discipline Should Be Early and Fair
Some leaders only correct when problems become unbearable. By then, it’s often too late, resentment has built, bad habits are ingrained, and emotions are high. This is always expensive and damaging to a team.
Just like parenting, leadership discipline should be early and soft. A firm, consistent approach prevents bigger problems later.
My son didn’t stop testing limits after that first cabinet battle, but he did learn something important: boundaries exist, and they are enforced with clarity and consistency.
That lesson works in leadership too.
When teams know what is expected, trust that rules apply to everyone, and believe that their leader will be fair, they perform better, work harder, and respect the system.
Because discipline, when done right, isn’t about punishment. It’s about clarity, trust, and growth.
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