Permission Won’t Come — Lead Anyway

I’ve spent much of my life waiting for permission.

The polite, “good Christian woman.” Serving others. Making sure no one thought I was pushy or out of line. Letting others dictate the pace and direction while I smiled and went along.

But leadership doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t either.

As I stepped into the leadership role I had always felt called to, I discovered a hard truth: someone had to step up. Someone had to step in. Someone had to ask the hard questions. Someone had to make the rules—and interpret them.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how often we all sat waiting for someone else to call on us. I remember a keynote clip where the speaker held up a book and asked, “Who wants it?” Every hand went up. And every person sat perfectly still, waiting for him to pick. Until finally, one woman stood up, walked to the front, and took it (I literally, physically cringed).

Too often, we wait for permission instead of moving toward what we want, what we think is best, or what the mission demands.

I’ve seen this play out in real life. There was once an administrative assistant on our team. On paper, she was the least important person in the room—surrounded by people with licenses, titles, and degrees. But in practice, she was one of the most essential. She kept us organized, managed the schedule, shielded us from time-wasting requests, and even sat in on interviews. She had the practical, no-nonsense perspective that our overly clinical thinking often missed.

When she raised her hand to contribute, she sometimes sat there for two or three minutes—waiting, as if we were a classroom. Yet every time she spoke, she brought clarity. We learned to trust her judgment on hiring decisions. We relied on her instincts about whether people were being truthful. We struggled when she was on vacation, because her influence ran deeper than she realized.

Her role reminded me of the same truth I was learning: you don’t have to hold the title to hold the influence. You don’t have to wait for permission to be valuable. You can lead from wherever you are—if you’re willing to step forward.

That’s when I began asking myself new questions:

• What’s best for the mission?

• What’s best for my life? For my goals? For the people I’m called to serve?

• What does being liked matter compared to what needs to happen to make the world better?

• What’s my scope? Was it bigger than I thought?

• What’s the worst that could happen? How might we recover if it did?

• What’s the BEST that could happen?

I realized the answers were often waiting in the risk. That leadership meant being willing to test ten bad ideas to find the one good one. That being “safe” wasn’t always the same as being faithful—or fruitful.

The speaker in that clip said it plainly: Stop waiting to be chosen. Stop waiting for someone to notice your brilliance. Stop waiting for permission to speak, to be seen, to be valued.

If you want something, go get it.

That doesn’t mean trampling people. It doesn’t mean arrogance. It means stepping into the space I was made to fill. It means understanding that leadership isn’t about popularity—it’s about responsibility.

And the responsibility is mine.

I may have spent years waiting politely, but I know now: the world didn’t change because someone raised their hand. It changed because someone stood up.

So that’s what I’ve committed to do—stand, ask the questions, risk rejection, propose the ideas, and move forward. Because the worst that can happen is usually survivable. And the best? The best could be life-changing.

And maybe, just maybe, someone else who’s been waiting too long will see the example and realize they don’t need to wait anymore either.

For too long, we waited to be chosen.

But the future doesn’t wait. We get to choose.

🎧 Listen to the podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3IRcKrMGete8zimraywkXv?si=-Q7ugOnfSdaMuyBXC5ADoA